windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize