walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
