Just fell off a train. Bad.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
