i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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