There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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