he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
