So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
