I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
