my mouth tastes like poor choices
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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