im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
