we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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