I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
