How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
