but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
