dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
