No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize