omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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