btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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