and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
