Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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