I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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