Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He passed out mid-signature
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
