she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
