And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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