I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
