Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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