if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
