what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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