A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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