how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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