Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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