My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
