I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
