He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just had sex on a roof
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
