I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
