You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
