I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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