He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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