I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
