I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
