Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
