But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize