I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
