I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My vagina is very pro this idea
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
