I wish i was in the wii world.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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