Ambien. No doubt about it.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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