My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
