i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
