I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
