WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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