at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
