Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
