He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
