i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm like, not good at living.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
