Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
