This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
