if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
