I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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