I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
