remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
