somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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