Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
