return my video game
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
