my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
it's like heaven, but drunker
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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