I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
