i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
nutella sex= disaster
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize