I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we're so committed to being not committed
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
