When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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